Oh dear....

Sometimes I am on the ball with my witty comments, other times I am in a can't be arsed mood so just ignore messages that come through of a certain nature.  Anyway I want to share some of the more comical ones with you and apologies in advanced for the 'crude' nature of the writing.

Number 1 - received today so is one of my more wittier ones:

HIM:  Wow you look amazing sweetheart love your pics if your interested get in touch xxx

ME: Hi, Thank you, your profile doesn't say a lot about you to be honest. But I'm *insert name*

HIM: Hi *insert name* what r u looking for x

ME: Hi, who knows to be honest I'm slowly losing the will to live on POF ;) what are you looking for?

HIM: To see you naked riding my cock as my gf

ME: So the addition of 'as my gf' was an after thought because you thought it would soften the whole 'naked riding my cock' thing?

HIM: No it was one statement

ME: Ok so who are you?

HIM:  *insert name*

ME: Hello *insert name*, so tell me how often does that chat up line work for you?

HIM: First time used so u tell me

ME: I'm afraid to say it didn't work for me.  I will let you try another chat up line because today I am feeling in a good mood ;)

HIM: Il let u show me how it's done then

ME:  That's just a cop out now!  Ok to start with when messaging someone on POF before you get to the whole 'wanna ride my cock' thing you need to give them a bit of banter, charm them, talk or in this case message them.  Kind of get them interested in you first then whip out the whole 'suck my cock' kind of thing.

He has since disappeared to terrorise some other woman with his rubbish chat up lines.  But this people is what I am faced with in the world of online dating, and just in case any of you men out there are reading this please take on board my suggestions on how to chat to a woman!