Wombling wimblington ...

A random title with no relevance to the blog post but to be honest I just feel like being random.

So today is a non hectic day which is quite nice however it has been non productive but I guess that is what weekends is all about. It did get me thinking about the last few weeks and my foray into online dating. I was chatting to a friend the other night, who strangely I met via Plenty of Fish, anyway we where catching up and asking how we where doing with the whole Internet dating thing. It transpired that neither of us had been that successful with it and had met a few of the non-normal people on pof. But we had been successful in the real world, well he had been and me well it's kind of early days.

This got me thinking about what exactly I wanted, I thought I knew when I first started the whole dating thing but after meeting a few people I was completely confused. Did I want just friends, a sex friend, casual dating or more. Of the people I met 2 I can say they are now friends, one was a disaster and another was probably only a sex thing.

Then there is the friend who I have known for over a year and well I'm now completely confused. We chat constantly, we laugh, take the piss and are completely honest with each other. And I like it, I like the feeling of being liked enough for someone to want to chat with me constantly. But I'm scared, sounds stupid but there is something there with this person and I'm scared of feeling this way. I don't want to fuck anything up by being too needy or impatient which I know I can be sometimes. But I feel special with this person and I don't just want friends, or a sex thing with him I want more, that's scary though! Scary as in can I go through the whole trusting someone again, will I get hurt like the last goodness knows how many times. Or should I just go with the flow and see what happens.

What would you do? Would you run for the hills and deny yourself any happiness because of what past relationships have done to your confidence. Or would you embrace it?

As I write this, and chat to the person in question, I realise that I'm ready to jump hand in hand with this person straight into the muddy puddle and embrace it with wide open arms. That's my decision I just hope he doesn't run away, not sure how I would handle that x